Jonathon Seattle, Washington 2018


From Torment to Peace.

I am a survivor of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse from my early childhood, with little to no
healthy guidance from my parents along the way. By 12 I was already using drugs and having sex, which
became routine by 13. As a young adult, I was subjected to the trauma of combat, the loss of a son
(death), and loss of a second son (marriage), and the list goes on. I was able to manage without drugs
because the military taught me how to disconnect from myself emotionally and physically. However,
with each trauma my suffering increased, which only manifest as rage and inevitably drugs crept back
into my life. With every new trauma my rage increased as did my drug use and my cycle spiraled me
into hel.

When I was 45 my wife had an intervention, and I entered an inpatient facility to start my recovery. For
about 2 years, I followed the advice of my counselors, and the programs I was in, but felt like the help
was limiting or that I was missing something important to my recovery. I inevitably relapsed with pot
and my marriage dissolved. Shortly after I began to pray daily to "God" for death, and I escalated my
drug use to allow him ample opportunity to fulfill my request.

I really am not sure why, but my wife reconnected with me, and stood by me while I entered my second
in-patient facility in 3 years. This was moderately helpful, but I was still suffering and remained unable
to connect with my feelings and my body. One of my outpatient counselors, noticed this and
recommended The White Raven Center. I researched the place, which was unconventional from perspective,
but I was tired of suffering and was willing to try anything.

WRC created an amazingly safe, trusting, and empowering environment to heal. After my first trip to WRC
and experiencing the RTT process, I felt relief from my suffering, I felt loved by others, and I felt love for
myself for the first time in my life; in that I realized there was a different way to live. I didn’t need to
remain enslaved to my past trauma and my victim mentality, and I could believe in my value. It was so
impactful to me that I had no cravings for using or acting out in any way or form. Over the last year, I
have been to 7 weekend retreats, with profound self transformations occurring with each visit. I have
found worth in myself that I never had even contemplated before. I feel compassion toward other
peoples suffering, and I am learning to trust others. I still have a long healing journey ahead, and my
wife is still by my side, mainly because of my WRC experience. I still get frustrated and triggered, but
more of my days are filled with peace than not, and I feel blessed.
The White Raven Center and RTT has honestly been the best thing that ever happened to me!
Seattle, Washington 2018

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