“You can choose fear, or you can choose love.” June, 2004 Marjorie Perloff, Farmington, NY
“I’m really scared – terrified. I don’t want to do this at all!” I could hardly catch my breath, as I got ready to start “the work.” I tried to be objective, to think of the tasks. I simply had to lie down on a gym mat, don a blindfold, snuggle up with a blanket, and breathe. “Just breathe – in through your nose and out through your mouth,” were my guides’ words.
I remember feeling floaty and focusing on my breathing. I could hear what was going on in the house, but I wasn’t processing the noises at all. Then, somehow, my thinking-in-words brain went to sleep, and another part of me took over. Feelings engulfed me – terror, loneliness, sadness, and raw anger. I shook, writhed, cried, yelled, moaned, and growled. I became strong, powerful, and loved; I drove away a powerful menace. I didn’t make conscious decisions to stop sessions; my body was in control, and it announced the end with total relaxation and physical exhaustion. The only comparable experience I’ve ever had to this work was giving birth to my children. For each birth and each session, I was fully engaged in a natural process that was beyond my control, and the results left me tired but filled with incredible joy.
Not brave enough to volunteer for the first round of sessions, I had been amazed that others, after expressing deep pain and anguish, ended their sessions feeling invigorated, at peace, and joyful. After four sessions, I am still mystified by what happens. I know, however, that I don’t need to understand, but I also know that the experience is too wonderful to keep to myself.