Triggered by the Course May, 2005 Derrick Coates


It was May 9th. I was driving to the gym for one of my daily exercise regiments for the week, when a vision of shattering glass appeared in my mind’s eye. Within seconds of this I became overwhelmed with anxiety and what I considered “pure fear”/terror. I realized instantly that I was releasing due to the study of A Coarse in Miracles (ACIM), but did not understand why this event came about so suddenly. I continued on to the gym, completed my workout, as well as socialized a little with “gym acquaintances” without anyone appearing to notice anything or mentioning anything that was different about me. During the entire time I spent at the gym, I was experiencing these intense emotions of anxiety and extreme fear, yet I was able to function without any hindrance to my objective.

As I drove back to my apartment, I contemplated my “next move”. I felt, through experiencing these emotions that I knew what I was going to do or better yet, had to do. I felt a strong need to talk to someone so I called a local friend and spoke to her about what I was experiencing. She stated a process that she did when this would happen to her. So I tried it and though it helped some, later that evening the intensity of fear returned and I knew then-“energy” had to be moved. As a Core Emotional Healing (CEH) facilitator, I work /volunteer at the White Raven Center, two to three times a week, so the following day I arrived at my usual time.

The Director and a fellow facilitator were discussing the web-site when I walked in the center. I took my bag down stairs and returned, retrieved a glass of water and entered the room where they were visiting. The Director asked me how I was feeling and I explained to her and to the other facilitator what had occurred the pervious day. All three of us decided to go up into the healing room to “hold space” for each other. When it came my turn to don the blinders and lay on the mat, I was more than ready and within seconds I went into process. As my body began expressing the anxiety and fear, I began to release the intense emotions that had “broke lose” from my subconscious due to the ACIM triggering the stored emotions within my psyche. My body began moving as if it was being whipped and beaten. It shivered and shook-almost violently. Images of torture plagued my mind and emotions of hatred, fear, and condemnation screamed out in desperation for release from this insanity. Through all this I was able to forgive the images and my tormentors. I understood for that one moment that the guilt of the Separation was being released and “soon” I would be free. A few days later I would do another process concerning the Separation and though it has been only two weeks, the anxiety and fear has yet to return.

Note: I have been involved with ACIM for only three months. I have been working on myself using the CEH Modality for four years. After the first session and some time after wards, it became clear to me that this was the first conscious knowing of my healing concerning the Separation. Previously as a client and later trained facilitator, the process was thought of as “healing” or “moving energy.” Actually we were “diving” into the subconscious to remove the heavy emotional toxins that plague us and hindered our “creative self.” In this way healing would occur.

If healing the subconscious is one of the ways in which to return to true reality, then Core Emotional Healing is a tool that should not be over looked. I have felt the anxiety and fear of “release” and no one should have to experience such long periods of suffering if it can be remedied. I will not say that this is the only modality that will assist the release and healing of the subconscious, but I will say I have witnessed hundreds overcome the mental & emotional images they created in their lives and move forward in recognizing and dispelling the illusions that plague them.

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